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Spotlight: Planning From Experience

Advice Wedding Experts Would Give If They Were Planning Their Own Wedding

January 27, 2026

Photo by Tylene Kilgore courtesy of The Farnam

If anyone understands what truly matters on a wedding day, it’s the professionals who spend their careers behind the scenes - anticipating needs, managing timelines, and ensuring moments unfold seamlessly. We asked seasoned wedding experts to reflect on what they’d do differently, what they’d prioritize, and what they wish every couple knew earlier in the planning process. Their advice is refreshingly grounded, deeply intentional, and centered on presence over perfection.

Plan the Details That Protect the Experience

Some of the most impactful wedding decisions aren’t the grand gestures - they’re the subtle choices that shape how the day feels. “One thing I always recommend is taking five minutes during the rehearsal to coach the ushers on where guests should sit, where restrooms are located, and where to place gifts as guests arrive,” shares Devon Gottsch of A Venue on the Ridge. “When that’s clear, family feels guided, the front rows are filled, and the wedding party isn’t interrupted with questions. That small bit of preparation creates a calmer, more intentional lead-up to the ceremony.”

Others echoed the value of thinking through guest experience in unexpected ways. Melanie Maynard of Wilderness Ridge Club & Resort recalls one of the most complimented decisions from her own wedding: “We let guests eat right away instead of waiting for the bridal party to arrive (after the ceremony when they were taking photos). It was such a small adjustment, but all of our family and friends found it be such a thoughtful gesture."

And when it comes to preserving memories, several experts emphasized going beyond still images. “Hiring a videographer or content creator is something I’d approach more intentionally,” says Rachel Hrabik of Arbor Day Farm. “Photos are great, but real-time video lets you relive emotional moments like your first look or walking down the aisle again and again.”

Prioritize Presence and Your Energy

Across every conversation, one theme rose to the top: protecting your energy and creating space to actually experience the day. “Time and time again, couples say the same thing - everything was perfect, but the day flew by,” says Devon Gottsch. “Carve out intentional time to pause with your partner. Those quiet moments allow you to breathe, reconnect, and remember what the day is really about.”

That sentiment is echoed by Sarah Wynn of The Farnam, who emphasizes the power of private moments woven into the timeline. “Whether it’s a first look earlier in the day, a few private moments during during cocktail hour, a first look of the reception space followed by a quiet dance, choosing a sweetheart table, or ending the night with a private last dance, those pauses matter. Having even a few moments alone allows you to slow down, take it all in, and truly celebrate the reason everyone is there: each other.”

Several experts also stressed the importance of support. “Hire a planner or coordinator,” advises Rachel Hrabik. “Planning your own wedding is emotionally different. Be fully present on your wedding day to soak in every detail and moment. Utilize a coordinator for time management, vendor coordination, problem solving (behind the scenes), and decorating."

Think Long-Term and Start Early

While weddings live in a single day, preparation often begins months (or years) before - especially when it comes to budgeting and self-care. “Set a budget! Weddings are expensive, it’s important to figure out how much you can realistically spend,” says Kailey Clatt of Omaha Lace Cleaners. "Everyone is different, decide what aspect is most important to you. With so many decisions competing for time and attention, defining financial boundaries early allows couples to move forward with confidence instead of second-guessing.

That clarity also makes it easier to plan timelines realistically. Vendors and services book quickly, especially for popular dates, so starting early gives couples the flexibility to secure their priorities without feeling rushed or reactive.

Preparation also extends beyond logistics. “Your wedding day makeup doesn’t start the morning of the celebration, but begins with intentional skin prep months in advance,” shares VALO Wellness Spa. “Consistent facials combined with dermaplaning can help create smooth, glowing skin so makeup applies flawlessly and enhances your natural radiance on the big day."

Trust Your Team and Let Go of the Rest

Perhaps the most heartfelt advice? Let go of the pressure to control every detail. “Your hired professionals are there to manage the details, keep things moving, and hold the structure so you can stay present,” Devon Gottsch reminds couples. “When couples trust their team, the day feels calmer, fuller, and far more memorable.”

And when the nerves inevitably creep in, Melanie Maynard offers a grounding reminder: “Don’t sweat the small stuff! I know it’s the biggest day in your life, but at the end of the day, you’re marrying your best friend which is what’s most important. You’re going to plan everything down to the last detail (which is great!) but that day, focus on what’s most important ... getting married."

Photo by Tylene Kilgore courtesy of The Farnam